Divorce

This weeks topic is on divorce. The older I have become, the more prevalent I have seen divorce becoming. According to researchers, they have found that about 40-50 percent of all first marriages and 60 percent of all other marriages end in divorce in the United States today! No I did not mis-type these percentages. So why? Why are so many people giving up on their marriages and how can we prevent this from happening from us? Luckily we have some counsel from our wonderful prophets and apostles to help us stay clear of these things.

President Faust gave us three principles to consider when we are thinking about getting a divorce. He says that if we go through these three steps it can help us to determine if our reasonings for divorce are "just cause."

1. Prolonged Difficulties- These are problems that you may have been having in your marriage for long amounts of time. Sometimes when a problem occurs couples try to fix it for a short amount of time and when it doesn't work, they rush to the conclusion that they just don't work anymore. President Faust has told us that we need to take steps to try and fix the problem and give it time before we decide if we can fix the problem or not. I think one key thing to remember here is our spouse is not perfect. They are going to make mistakes. If we allow time and try to fix the problem, it will allow for mistakes to be made and for them to correct them.

2. Apparently Irredeemable Relationship- By this point, President Faust says we need to try to determine if there is any chance for the marriage to be redeemed. One thing that really stuck out to me was if one partner refuses to make an effort to change, that does not mean the other one doesn't need to either. 

3. Destruction of Human Dignity- President Faust said that if we get to the point where we begin to lose our self worth than maybe it is time to consider a divorce. However just feeling unhappy or unfulfilled does not meet these standards. Things that just get on our nerves or bug us about our partner rarely causes someone to feel like they don't have self worth. 

I just wanted to share some things that kelsey and I do to keep our marriage going strong. Granted we are no where close to being perfect but these things help us a lot.

1. We date each other- Once a week, normally Friday, we go on a date. We are both busy with school and other activities throughout the week and we set aside this time to go and do something fun together. This allows us to spend time one on one without the distractions of school or other things. It is us time. 

2. We communicate- Whenever something is bothering me or something is bothering him, we let each other know. We are very open with each other and we never hide anything. Also to go along with communicating, we just talk to each other. We make sure to sit down and have dinner together every night where we just talk about our day.     

3. We are Silly- A major part of both of our personalities is being goofy and never serious. This helps us to always be ourselves. I say some of the weirdest things sometimes and it makes me so happy to know that he still loves even though I am weird.

4. We show affection for each other- I think this is a major one for both of us because it helps me to know he still finds me a attractive and I find him attractive. It is also a way that we can show love for each other. 

5. Lastly, we pray, read the scriptures, and go to the temple together- When we are on the same page spiritually, it helps us come so much closer together. It helps us to keep the eternal perspective in mind and remember that the silly little things like leaving your clothes on the floor don't matter.

Hope everyone is enjoying their May!!