Although in the proclamation we read that man and women have different roles and duties in the marriage, couples need to work together in order to have a healthy and successful marriage. In the fall, I took a class on marriage and one day my teacher drew a diagram on the board that I will never forget as long as I live. I had seen it before but for some reason this time it really sunk it.
Here is the diagram, I am sure that many of you have seen it before. I just want you to pay extra attention to it and see that in a marriage there is one person who is higher. It is not the husband, nor is it the wife, it is Heavenly Father. Husband and wife are on equal playing field.
So what can husband's and wife's do to keep this from happening?
One thing that I read when I was doing research on this topic was that in the marriage there must be room for both the husband and wife to have dreams. Along with having those dreams, they must each support the other in their dreams or hobbies and do everything they can to encourage it.
I have two hobbies that I absolutely love to do. I love cooking and I love crafting. These are no cheap hobbies in the slightest and I have often felt guilty that my hobbies cost so much money. However, Kelsey has never told me that he thinks my hobbies cost too much money and that I need to find new ones. He has actually tried to get involved in them as much as he can. Cooking is always easier for him to support than crafting but he always talks about how awesome he thinks my crafts are. When it comes to cooking, he is always more than happy to try my food and desserts:) He has even learned how to make some things like bread and it is something we do together every Sunday.
One of Kelsey's main hobbies or dreams is actually his major which is engineering. He loves it and he loves to talk to me about it. When we first got married and he would talk about I would normally just nod my head and tell him I had no idea what he was talking about. Now, I still don't have a huge idea of what he is talking about but I try to get involved and learn. I ask him about projects and encourage him when he does well on his tests.
One thing that I also thing is important is finding a hobby that you both like and do it together. When a couple can do this, it allows for couples to feel they are on equal playing fields and they can bond together over it. One does not feel their hobby is more important because it is something they came up with together.
Kelsey and I both love to exercise. It is something that we have always done together. Our schedules don't always match up and it would probably be easier to just go to the gym at different times. But we make sure we find a time where we can both go to the gym together. It makes me feel closer to Kelsey knowing that it is something that we do together.
One other thing I wanted to touch base on when it comes to this topic was sharing duties. Although like I mentioned before that the proclamation spells out specific duties for husband and wife, they can both take part in sharing all the duties in some way. For example, wife's are mainly responsible for the nurturing of children but husbands can help in taking care of the children as well.
One way Kelsey and I share duties is through chores. It is always said that the wife is supposed to take care of all the chores in the house but Kelsey and I share this responsibility. Kelsey cleans the bathroom and all the floors every week and I clean the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. It is different for everyone but it's what works for us.
I have a true testimony of equal partnership in marriage. Like I mentioned it is different for every couple but, I know that if husband and wife can find a way where they can both have equal partnership, they are going to much happier.
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