Young Adults and Marriage

Since it's around that time of graduation for high schooler's, I thought it would be a great time to post a blog about my opinions of marriage and most importantly what some church leaders have said. It is that time in your life when your mind is full of wonders. What will happen when you head off to college? What about that boy or girl you said you were going to wait for on their mission? What will college be like?

 I had all of these worries as well and  thought I had it all figured out. I would go to college and just date around for a couple of years while I experienced and enjoyed the fun college life. Speaking of the fun college life, I imagined I would be out with friends every night and some how my homework would just magically get done. One thing was for sure, I was not going to be getting married after my first year BY-Ido for sure. Boy was I wrong. I guess Heavenly Father needed to teach me a little lesson on becoming humble:)

Now that marriage is in the not too distant future for some of you, or for others maybe it is but, there are 3 good questions to ask yourself no matter your feelings on marriage.

1. When? So when in the world are you going to get married? The church has counseled young adults who have graduated (and served a mission for some) not to put off getting married. They are concerned with the youth today. Many are putting off marriage because that is not the cool thing to do anymore. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "I hope you will not put off marriage too long... Don't go on endlessly in frivolous dating game. Look for a choice companion, one you can love, honor, and respect, and make a decision." Now I don't think that he is implying we need to force ourselves to get married, but we shouldn't put it off just because. I think one thing that goes along with this is preparing yourself. You don't want an amazing companion to pass you up because your not ready. 

In my textbook they said to trust in The Lord and follow what the spirit tells you. This was a huge thing for Kelsey and I as we were deciding when to get married. We didn't know if we should wait longer or get married when we did. We had been dating for a little while and didn't want to rush into anything. I also knew I was young. Ultimately we ended up praying about it and the spirit confirmed to both of us that we should get married sooner rather than later. We were in love and knew we wanted to spend the rest of eternity together so why wait. I got a lot of grief for it but, looking back I know it was the right time for us to get married.

2. Who? This is a big one. You need to know who you want to marry before you get married! One thing the church leaders really focus is on is that there is no such thing as a soul mate. When I first arrived here at BYU-I a member of the bishopric said that in one of his talks. I always knew it was true in the back of my mind but when he said it, I felt like he had just told me that Santa Clause was not real. I love this saying, "while soul mates are found, eternal companions are chosen and made." You are in control of who you marry. You get to pick. It wasn't aligned in the stars because it's up to you to decide that. 

I met Kelsey my very first week up at BYU-I. I remember thinking to myself from the moment he walked in the door of my apartment how cute he was. I remember thinking to myself oh man I am in trouble. It wasn't love at first sight but I had this weird feeling that he was someone I could marry. I thought I was crazy because I hardly knew the guy. But I can remember talking to my mom about it.  We facebook stalked him of course and my mom confirmed he was cute and looked like a good guy. 

3. How? So now how are you going to go about finding that one to marry? There is a little formula my book recommends and I think it is a good one. 1. Traditional dating- This is where you go on dates with tons of different guys and girls. You are just trying to get to know people and see if there is anyone out there you like. This is what I call the friend stage. 2. Exclusive Dating- So after your many dates you finally found a guy or girl you really like. This is where you and that special someone start to get serious. Those scary talks about marriage and a future come up and you see if your values and views align. Oh yeah and you also fall in love:) 3. Engagement- Now you know it. That girl or boy is the one you have chosen, not your soul mate, and you want to spend eternity with them. You get engaged, get married in the temple and live happily ever after.

Kelsey and I remained friends after we met for a whole semester before we started dating. I went on a few dates with other guys and so did he. We actually never went on dates with each other but we were the best of friends. I secretly had a HUGE crush on him and he had a crush on me as well but we never told each other. Well Christmas rolled around and Kelsey finally got the guts up to tell me he liked me. How you may ask? Well he pretended to have a dream we were dating and told me that. Then he asked what I would think if we did. We talked about it and started dating. The rest is history. We quickly fell in love and I knew he was the one I had to spend eternity with. We got engaged in April and got married in the Seattle temple in August 2011. It has been the best 2 years of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

There really is no formula or science when it comes to marriage and finding your spouse. There is no one else that can answer any of these three questions except for you, The Lord and the person you are considering marrying. Rely on the spirit and I know it will never lead you astray. 

And of course some pictures of Kelsey and I dating to wrap everything up:)